Incorporating Shavasana in real life!

 I remember when I was in school, I hated Social Studies. Especially during exams, I hated the preparation part, memorizing all the stuff. I used to get super bored while studying. My boredom would get so bad that it always turned into depression. My mom, who was practicing Yoga back then, would try to soothe me and make me do Shavasana. Even though exam time was approaching and I wasn’t finished with my studies, she would make me stop looking at those boring books, cribbing about their existence in my life. She would just ask me to lie down, leave all the thoughts I would have, and leave everything. She’d ask me to imagine that there’s nothing, literally nothing, around me. She would ask me to empty my mind completely. She helped me meditate and make sure those frustrating thoughts are at least reduced if not completely gone away. And after some time when I would get up from Shavasana, I’d get some energy to think about the next steps. These memories still feel fresh. After school was over, this never happened much until recently. 

In the last few years, every now and then I used to feel depressed. Some days were great, some decent but the majority of them were filled with boredom and mild depression. I tried to distract myself from those thoughts and tried to feel good. It was like I’m pushing myself to feel good about something that I’m not really enjoying or feeling good about. It took me a long time to realize that I should not distract myself but just take things slow, remove things from life that I’m not enjoying. Although we are a working parent couple, I started leaving work where it was. Whenever working on something office work or household work, I asked myself - can it wait? Can it wait until tomorrow? If it could I pushed it to the next day. While doing so, I realized there are so many things I just had imposed on myself. I slowed down a lot. And nobody noticed it except me. I removed every task from TODO that could wait. Some tasks were something that I was able to enjoy but somehow started piling up. But I still pushed them out. When my TODOs reduced and almost became empty, I could think so clearly on what I want, what my next steps should be. I just realized that this was one type of slow Shavasana that I incorporated into my life! One more time and it helped.

P.S. My mom/my parents never pressurized me to get good grades. It was me imposing something on myself and got me into that situation. That’s what I was doing in my life too.

Day of Productivity, Creativity, and Reflection

 Another one with the help from chatGPT, with a few tweaks from me.

Today brought a refreshing change of pace, with a mix of productivity, creativity, and a touch of introspection. The meetings were surprisingly productive, and we wrapped up with a volunteering activity that left me feeling fulfilled in more ways than one.

The volunteering activity involved creating no-sew blankets—a simple yet satisfying process of joining two large pieces of cloth, cutting their sides, and tying them together to form a cozy blanket. It was an opportunity to step away from the digital world of management and engage in hands-on creation, something I've been missing since transitioning into this role.

Participating in last month's hackathon reignited my passion for creating something tangible, and today's activity reinforced that desire. There's a unique satisfaction in seeing, touching, and physically interacting with something you've made, and it's a feeling I've been craving amidst the endless stream of meetings and discussions.

As I drove home, I found myself lost in thought while listening to random AI-related audios. They brought back memories of the series "Person of Interest" and its thought-provoking exploration of artificial intelligence. It's a reminder that the future is hurtling towards us at an alarming rate, and while it's exciting, it also fills me with a sense of apprehension.

Thoughts of "Black Mirror" added another layer of complexity to my reflections. The show's negative view of technology's impact on society serves as a cautionary tale, highlighting the potential pitfalls of a rapidly advancing future.

Despite feeling unsure and worried, I'm also curious and excited about what's coming next. The future might be uncertain, but it's full of chances for us to grow and come up with new ideas. However it turns out, it is going to be interesting!

Finding Balance in the Chaos: A Day in the Life of a Software Engineer

This post was entirely generated by ChatGPT with just a few lines of input from me. It's fascinating to consider how far we've come in the world of Generative AI. I look forward to revisiting this post in the future to reflect on the advancements made since then.

In the bustling world of software engineering, each day brings with it a flurry of meetings, problem-solving, and tight deadlines. Today was no exception as I found myself navigating through a series of meetings, each with its own unique context and challenges. From discussing project milestones to troubleshooting technical issues, my day was consumed by the constant buzz of collaboration and problem-solving.

Weeks had passed in this relentless cycle, with little respite from the demands of the job. The weight of responsibility began to take its toll as I juggled multiple priorities and worked tirelessly to find solutions to the myriad of problems that arose.

However, amidst the chaos and stress, today brought a welcomed change—a brief respite from the relentless meetings and endless stream of work. An hour was set aside to celebrate a colleague's upcoming milestone: the arrival of a new member to their family.

As we gathered to celebrate the joyous occasion, the atmosphere shifted from the intensity of work to the warmth of camaraderie. Laughter filled the room as we indulged in playful games and heartfelt conversations. For a brief moment, the stresses of work faded into the background, replaced by the simple joy of connecting with colleagues on a personal level.

As I mingled with my teammates, discussing topics unrelated to work, I felt a sense of relaxation wash over me. The weight of responsibility lifted from my shoulders as I embraced the opportunity to unwind and recharge.

In the midst of the hectic pace of the software engineering world, it's easy to lose sight of the importance of balance. Today served as a reminder that amidst the hustle and bustle, it's essential to carve out moments of respite and connection. Whether it's a brief break for a colleague's baby shower or a spontaneous chat over coffee, these moments of reprieve are crucial for maintaining mental well-being and fostering a sense of community within the workplace.

As I return to my desk, refreshed and rejuvenated, I carry with me the understanding that finding balance in the chaos is not only possible but necessary for navigating the tumultuous waters of software engineering with grace and resilience.

Long time no see :)

Hi my diary, again!

Yeah, it's been years that I wrote anything. Why did I stop? Not sure. Don't want to think.

A lot has changed over the years. It's been more than 6 years I'm married and have moved away from my country, from my parents. Learnt life quite a bit, I can say. With this whole Corona Virus thing going on, staying at home, got some time to think. Got time to look back at my blog and I realized how totally different person I was! So thought I'd write something. But I'm struggling so much to write anything, feel like a door closed on me. Not sure if that'll ever open again. Anyway, some day, maybe after few years I'll come back and read this post and will remember this state of my mind. That's good enough of a checkpoint at this point.

Bye, until then.

P.S. I just noticed my picture on this blog and I never want to change that. :) And Hey Google! Please don't shut down this service like you did for Google Reader. 

Being stupid to be smarter!

Sometimes it's ok to say stupid statements or ask extremely silly questions. The point is to start contributing in topics you don't have a single idea about.

Mom

Sometimes I want her so badly... :(

Stateless Bean

Looks like I'm being more and more like Stateless beans when it comes to communication. 

Javadocs = Pondering over your code

They say - writing Javadocs is useful only for others. It's a waste of time for the one who is writing them. But I believe it's a very easy and fast method to know better what you have developed. And it also triggers ideas for improvements. Want to know how? Try writing them "honestly".

Sometimes people say sorry not only because they feel guilty but also they want to keep doing whatever they are doing even though it is hurting you.

Sometimes you don't get what you want. Sometimes everything happens exactly opposite of what you want. And then God sends very good people around you so that you get the power not to get into miserable state. They sooth you so much, your all wounds get cured automatically. You don't even notice your wounds. And with the new power you think wisely to achieve what you want. Thank you God again for sending good people in difficult moments. You are awesome! ;)

Little despising can help sometimes

Sometimes you think you are the most appropriate for something, among everyone around you. And then you feel "the responsibility". You start believing that without you, this place would be a mess. But at the same time something else attracts you. By feeling responsible for your current place, you feel guilty in leaving it. But you need to despise yourself a little. You are not the only capable person in this world. The place will find itself someone responsible. Why you worry? Think about what you want. Get it. This place might get a better person. And the other place is of your will. So that is also better for you. So stop feeling guilty. Start believing in other's capability. And go get what you want.

God, please give me a better quality of problems to fix.

For the fans of Person of Interest

ARPANET was hacked on 27th October 1980 which introduced complete halt in the network.
Sources:
1) http://www.zakon.org/robert/internet/timeline/#1980s
2) http://computer.howstuffworks.com/arpanet4.htm = Read the last section of "Hacking Arpanet"

The exact date is mentioned in Person Of Interest when Harold hacked the ARPANET and was being investigated by the department of defense.
Sources:
1) http://personofinterest.wikia.com/wiki/Harold_Finch  =  Read the section of 1980, 27 October.

What an accuracy! Glad to know that. :)

Losing importance in my own life!

This phase of my life - being an ordinary woman.

Truth also comes in various forms.

Listen Amaya

A must watch. I'm right now short of words to speak about it as this movie made me speechless.
A simple story about a mother-daughter relationship, about a love which happened at old age, about a friendship with a quite older friend, about simplicity of living and about forgiveness. It touched me. The photography of the movie is also amazing. The books, coffee-mugs, guitars, chairs and simple light music can make a movie so soothing, I hadn't realized that earlier.

let me live

Let me live my way! Please!

I am reading an article which is an advice of PhD. I don't know if I will even think about PhD, but this article is really a good-read. A great advice.

Just found below question-answer in it. This is a good one for those who are confused about choosing their career path. It can be good even to confirm if you have chosen the right path.

Question: Would you compare research and management?
Hamming: If you want to be a great researcher, you won't make it being president of the company. If you want to be president of the company, that's another thing. I'm not against being president of the company. I just don't want to be. I think Ian Ross does a good job as President of Bell Labs. I'm not against it; but you have to be clear on what you want. Furthermore, when you're young, you may have picked wanting to be a great scientist, but as you live longer, you may change your mind. For instance, I went to my boss, Bode, one day and said, ``Why did you ever become department head? Why didn't you just be a good scientist?'' He said, ``Hamming, I had a vision of what mathematics should be in Bell Laboratories. And I saw if that vision was going to be realized, I had to make it happen; I had to be department head.'' When your vision of what you want to do is what you can do single-handedly, then you should pursue it. The day your vision, what you think needs to be done, is bigger than what you can do single-handedly, then you have to move toward management. And the bigger the vision is, the farther in management you have to go. If you have a vision of what the whole laboratory should be, or the whole Bell System, you have to get there to make it happen. You can't make it happen from the bottom very easily. It depends upon what goals and what desires you have. And as they change in life, you have to be prepared to change. I chose to avoid management because I preferred to do what I could do single-handedly. But that's the choice that I made, and it is biased. Each person is entitled to their choice. Keep an open mind. But when you do choose a path, for heaven's sake be aware of what you have done and the choice you have made. Don't try to do both sides.

"For humans, honesty is a matter of degree. Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth."
- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle